#and its gonna be like 40 degrees there next week FUCK LOL

[marciliedonato]

my country was eliminated from the euro on friday night and I've been feeling like absolute caca since Saturday.....coincidence? i think not.....

[rigelmejo]

December Goals Update

Time to round up the stuff I got done! This one is a big update, despite both accomplishments and this january’s goals being quite straightforward this time. ^-^)/

I already know - I ended up focusing on one very specific goal, and made significant progress JUST in that. And... if I do what I am PLANNING for January... then hopefully I’ll make more progress. But lol, we’ll see. We know how much I suck at sticking to my plans >o>

Things accomplished:

Chinese novel chapters read in December: 20 (Tian Ya Ke - 19, aka read about 24% of the novel this past month! This was the big goal I ended up focusing on - I want to finish reading through my first full novel this year! I did a majority of those chapters in the last 2 weeks, so if I get motivated again, I might really reach this goal. We’ll see. I REALLY do want to break the milestone of getting through one complete novel soon, and it being a priest one would be icing on the cake. Reading method - intensively, using Pleco Reader, looking up all unknown words. I picked up a significant amount of words so far, but it’s still a big challenge lol).

Chapters I studied with Listening-Reading Method: 8 (Most of these were Tian Ya Ke, and dmbj 2. I ended up getting really into reading though, and skipping this step later on as it slowed down my reading time. This January, I would like to do l-r method MORE, because I’ve finally got Guardian all prepped to do that novel with it. I’d love to do l-r method all the way through the novel guardian... I hope I manage it... avenuex did a beautiful audiobook for it, and I’d love to work through it. The only demotivating factor? l-r method takes a big time dedication - 5-10 minutes to read a chapter in english, 20 minutes to listen to the chapter while looking at the english text, 20 minutes to listen to the chapter while looking at the chinese text... so around 50 minutes to do a single chapter. And guardian has 106+ chapters ToT. That said, imagine how improved my listening skills would be after roughly 88* hours of listening to chinese I can mostly comprehend? Considering just a handful hours of l-r method has already bumped my listening skills up noticeably to me. In addition to Guardian, I would very much like to do l-r method with Silent Reading as an excuse to re-read the novel and listen to the audiobook - which is around 66 free chapters available at least. I figure l-r method with priest novels, in combo with reading priest novels like Tian Ya Ke, will help with picking up vocabulary in reading and listening a bit. Plus, I plan to do l-r method in the order: listen to english, then listen to chinese, which tends to help me pick up more reading comprehension better than the reverse order.)

Chinese audio listened to: 14 (a surprisingly large number? I don’t remember doing this much lol? I think some of this is me listening to dmbj audios, and some was other chinese things, and a tiny bit was restarting the spoonful chinese audio. Again, I think listening more has been helping out a lot)

shows watched in only chinese: roughly 2 (I watched a bit of a few eps of border town prodigal, some tlt3 raws, some short vids, half of anti fraud league ep 1, half of some spy show, basically i was not in a focused mood lol)

Personal goals met:

finally got my stomach to stop hurting! i guess it wanted less carbs. also debloated 10 lbs so i guess its happier lol. still not sure what else it wants from me.

started writing a personal story, period piece with pirates and bisexual messes and i’m quite excited tbh. So now this story, and Nanase, are active original wips

handled doctor stuff wooh! 

read more of my cpstd book and made more comprehensive plans on what to do when i get emotional flashbacks - and i think the prep work has been really helpful so far, i’m hopeful my lowered stress now is a part of that lol

formatted 2 books! WOOH! in process of formatting 2 more, and learning how the fuck to do a parallel text - anyone know how??? I’m having a nightmare, I’d love to do left page english right page chinese, but all I’m finding are how to use columns to do dual texts beside each other on the same page. Which is much more cramped to read... but I suppose I can live with it if it’s the only option I have.

Goals for January will be pretty straightforward to be honest. I am in a very reading-focused mood. (I mean we’ll see how long that lasts, ToT since my attention jumps randomly, but I’ve got everything Prepped to lean heavy into reading for my studying for the foreseeable future). I plan to focus on reading as my main study method, to cover listening and reading and picking up vocabulary/hanzi. Optionally, I might listen to chinese audio in the background to further help with listening/vocabulary (like Chinese Spoonfed Audio, or audiobooks), or I might watch a show in chinese (whether I do this completely depends on if I feel like it). 

Later on in the year, if reading is getting easier - then long term, I think I’ll want to go back to Alan Hoenig’s Chinese Characters book and read through it for a solid foundation to fill in gaps, read my chinese grammar books for same reason, use my pronunciation app... and then dive into both language exchange apps and tutors more firmly for actual writing and speaking and interacting with others. Basically, long term, I’d like to work on filling in my gaps and correcting any mistakes I haven’t figured out, then work on production more which will be significantly weaker skills by then. But in the immediate, I want to just focus on what I enjoy - reading - and use it to pick up as many words as possible. 

Goals for January:

Continue reading Tian Ya Ke. Work on reading through my first complete novel in chinese. Continue counting chapters read, as I might look at a few novels - but sincerely, I WANT to focus on one book so Tian Ya Ke is the GOAL. I will be quite happy if I can get the book to 50% read by the end of this month, but we’ll see... and quite honestly I’ll be floored if I get to 100% within the month - but if it gets easier as I pick up more words, anything’s possible. Ideally, I would like to l-r method a few chapters. I do think it speeds up my reading speed because it makes me keep up with the narration, and it also helps me cement new words into my memory better. I remember words better when I hear them. However like - chapters tend to take me 40 minutes to read, and l-r method takes usually 15-20 minutes because of how dense priest’s chapters are. So... l-r method chapters take 1 hour a piece... if I get into a reading mood, I’ll ultimately probably just primarily focus on the reading.

Secondary goal, not as important, I will start this if desired but it might wait until February+. Listen-Read Method Guardian, until I’ve gotten through the entire novel. I finally have all the translations gathered up, I’ve got my chinese copy of the novel, and avenuex’s audiobook. I have everything ready to simply start. However, as mentioned, this is a time heavy activity. I do think it will be very helpful for improving my listening skills, and to a degree also - helping retain my reading skills, push my reading speed up a little, and maybe help me pick up some new words. I think it will be a very compatible activity with goal 1, or a nice follow up activity to goal 1. Also it is the DREAM, as that novel is what pushed me to start learning chinese initially... so I am very excited to read through it. Ideally, I start this activity AFTER Tian Ya Ke, and I do a full readthrough of the chapters like: read in english, audio with english, audio with chinese, read intensively in chinese. Basically, I would love to include a full intensive read through of Zhen Hun at the same time I’m l-r method’ing it. However that will be Even more time sapping, so that’s not necessarily gonna happen unless my reading speed for priest novels is a little better after Tian Ya Ke. I need to get through the chapters read in chinese in closer to 20 minutes instead of the current 40 minutes it takes me. 

Optional. Listen to chinese when I can - in the background like Chinese Spoonfed, audio books, audio dramas, and by watching shows in only chinese. If I have time, and I feel like doing these, I will. It’s easy to add doing this to my day, so when I remember to do them, they’re helpful. 

Main Goal for January - continue reading Tian Ya Ke. <3

Once that’s completed, next main goal - Listen-Read Method with Guardian. 

See? Really extremely straightforward goal for January. Simply keep reading! I think the more I read, the easier it will get, the faster it will get, and the quicker I’ll be able to get through a LOT of the novels I want to check out. So... I have to start doing it, if I intend to get better.

Unrelated notes:

I’ve gotten really into Drakengard 3 lately. Which by extension, means really into Nier Automata again, Nier (Nier Replicant remaster is releasing and I am getting the version with the scriptbooks and am intensely excited), and Drakengard. Yoko Taro’s wild concepts and fascinating characterizations and way of telling stories has sucked me in again. And I am reminded how very much eventually learning to read Japanese IS still a long term goal of mine. I’m back to playing like 3 games right now I could so easily be practicing my japanese with... if I remembered any japanese ToT. It’s like at the edges of my brain... I remember the hiragana and katakana after a minute or two... the kanji I’ve completely forgotten, but since I know a lot of the meanings from chinese now, I can often parse out the meaning of sentences in manga I’ve got... I can’t remember the particles off the top of my head or when I listen, but when I read their meaning clicks again fast... I know that when I go back, its just a matter of a crash course and then diving in again. And wow am I eager. But I know myself, and japanese is gonna take a WHILE. And chinese is currently taking a LOT of dedication, I don’t even really have time to work on my french reading lol. So I would really prefer to get at least another year in chinese before even trying to start studying japanese again. (And realistically 2-3 more years of chinese, because I genuinely think a solid basis in speaking skills/basic listening skills, and generally Competent webnovel reading skills I want before I stop actively studying chinese... because by that time I’ll want to keep reading/listening to chinese for pleasure, chatting when needed, and if I stop studying before that point I know I personally will just end up needing to relearn some big chunks. I also think if I try to go back to japanese before that point, I will have major issues confusing the two when reading. My japanese was upper-beginner when I quit, and when I started chinese I sped past that point in chinese to the point pretty quickly chinese blocked out what japanese i knew and it made japanese reading easier but only to a point. My chinese I’d put at ‘beginner’ still?? But compared to my japanese its significantly farther - in chinese I can currently read manhua without a dictionary and get enough to translate most of it myself, and read simpler novels and get most of it, and read more complex novels and get the gist main idea even if its a slog. 

With japanese? Ahahahahahah! I was able to read the very simplest of manga and only get the very bare main idea gist, could NOT even comprehend any novel, and could play a video game on MEMORY of what i knew the context was, only picking out quite basic words. However, even though my chinese has gotten a fair bit further... I want it even further before I stop actively studying it so much. I want it to the point its where my french reading level was at about 2.5 years into french (or honestly, a bit Better than my french was tbh). I want my chinese to be to the point, where I recognize enough hanzi that I can guess the meaning of some new words, that I can look up most new words with with pinyin because i at Least know the pinyin for most hanzi i see, and where in most not-too-difficult webnovels i read, I know enough of the words, that i can comfortably follow the gist of the main plot without too much strain even if i miss details. so at that point, I’ll still likely want to build up my vocabulary more - so that i can learn to translate, and so that i can pick up details easier, and read faster. But I’ll at least be at a point where i can easily maintain the skills i have and improve them a bit naturally by just continuing to read. I mean... realistically even, I should try to keep studying chinese a lot at that point... I really, really want to be able to read chinese novels. But that’s probably the minimum at which I’d feel quite comfortable focusing on another language intensively.

With japanese, I already have a study plan too! A study plan I know works for me! It’ll be so simple! Parts 1-4 would be structured study, parts marked + would be options to move onto, and parts marked * would be activities that could be done concurrently. 

The japanese study plan, whatever year I finally can get to it:

Listen to Japanese Audio Lessons (japaneseaudiolessons.com). I did this before, and it helped my listening comprehension/vocabulary pick up so much.

Read Learn to Read in Japanese Vol I, II, III (by the same people). I loved these books back when I started them, the best mnemonics that I’d found for myself to pick up the kanji - easiest way for me to pick them up without brute forcing it.

(concurrently with above) go through Nukemarines LLJ memrise decks. Literally, just CRAM through those. I did that at the 2+ year mark for japanese, and that was REALLY when I was finally able to start reading and trying video games, so it clearly was what worked for me.

Read my book Read Japanese. Haven’t tried this yet, but it looks like a good place to progress, This would be done after step 1+2, either concurrently with Nukemarine or after Nukemarine depending on how much is done. Just cram Through this book since it’s got a lot of basics in the beginning. Its in the same structure as my DeFrancis Chinese Readers and very well suited to my learning style.

Read my Tuttle Read Japanese book. More difficult, goes into like 2000 kanji, a ton of vocab, and most people who read this said afterward reading regular japanese material was quite doable.

+If my Nukemarine deck is completed - move onto one of my japanese decks with more words, or Clozemaster Japanese sentences.

+If my japanese audio lessons are completed - move onto one of my other japanese audio collections like the japanese pimsleur that was condensed, or that website with a ton of condensed audio of episodes (https://www.paliss.com/). Or youtube channels like Game Gengo (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLT12i1gB38HG1olutL08nID8gaGWHZS4v). 

+at the point Nukemarine’s deck is done, Listening-Reading method with japanese novels is an option. 

+at the point I’m done with all Read Japanese books, may read through some other japanese textbooks I have, starting with: Japanese Particles and Common Sentence Structures, Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Guide. 

*Find a japanese reader equivalent to Pleco (check subreddit r/learnjapanese, r/refold, r/massimmersionapproach). Start reading whatever japanese novels I want. Which knowing me, will probably be light novels, maybe some visual novels, and video game related materials. *Ideally this step would be done last, but knowing me, it’ll be done whenever i feel like starting - could be attempted as early as midway through the Nukemarine decks.

*Listen to japanese - so many options here, realistically it would be me playing video games in japanese, watching jdramas, watching/listening to spinoff material of stories I like like the YorHa stage plays etc. Can be attempted as early as midway through Nukemarine decks.

*reading manga could be anywhere in this list, although I don’t do it much anymore. But I was just getting to being able to try this last time I was studying japanese, so I could start up again whenever. Only negative, I would say, is I think my improvement suffered back then because I was too scared to try reading actual novels. So novels are prioritized as reading material. It would be nice to help translate some mangas though - so there’s an option.

*maybe try translating some japanese things i have interest in, at a late point.

I think maybe, the biggest thing studying chinese has taught me about how i learn languages, is that I improve faster when challenged. I learn better when challenged. I tried to read Chinese novels from the first few months (not well, but i tried lol), I watched chinese dramas from day one, and I tried to watch chinese shows only in chinese from month 5 onward. From month 5 onward I started trying to talk/write with people (knowing maybe 400 words at first, quickly bumping up to 1000 words in a month cause of just needing it, so it definitely helped me). And when I started listening to audio more, my listening skill noticeably improved within a few months. As a result, my chinese in a little over a year is taking much less time to improve then I projected it was going to (I figured the progress I’ve made so far, was going to take 3-4 years). Whereas with japanese, I didn’t try to start reading or playing video games or listening a lot until 2 years into studying... and I also didn’t make any noticeable improvement until then. So going into any language study moving forward, I’ll do more to challenge myself earlier. Since clearly its helpful to me.

[tango-uniformed]

Attica! Attica!

This sucks but I like Attica as a neurotic republican politician. Idk how to write Leon being mute or whatever I just gave him a stutter bc...communication. Also I dearly wanted Serena to have a solid place in the cast so I was like, what the hell, she can be on Attica’s staff. Idk if she should have an important position like campaign manager or something but rn she’s just an assistant. Also since this is Attica’s POV Serena is less funny and Leon is idk more caring than he actually is bc she perceives them that way (Serena is actually funny and Leon is actually a dick)

Its funny because I’m pretty sure Attica is going to be the “good guy” on the protagonists side and help them and Milo is going to end up being a terrifying source of trouble for everyone. Also I was like ok and rolled the ethnicity dice and was like the Kings can be Chinese and the surname King was changed by their grandfather from Qing when their family really started grabbing power, and then was like ok Serena’s adopted but she’s of Iranian origin (guess that means Danny is too)

$$$$$

Attica King averaged 4 hours of sleep a night. And that was if she was lucky.

Looking at twitter was giving her heart palpitations, but what was she supposed to do, 5 weeks before the Midterm elections? Her numbers guy said that her district would re-elect her by a large margin-- it was red. It had always been red. It wasn’t like that hippie freak who was running against her had a chance in hell. People in Indiana loved her. People in DC though, where she spent considerably more of her time, hated her guts. The vitriol and fake news that journalists were spewing about her online proved that much.

“I’m gonna kill somebody,” Attica said. It was 7 am. She had already been to the gym, showered, sensibly done her hair and make-up, and put on the kind of suit that said ‘listen to me you dummy’. She brandished her phone at her Chief of Staff. “Do you see what they’re saying about me, Leon? They act like I’m some kind of younger, smarter, Chinese female version of Stalin all because they can’t bully me into voting for their stupid gun regulations. People are out there blowing each other up with their minds! What the fuck am I supposed to do, help get rid of guns and leave every sucker who can’t do magic defenseless?”

Leonard, Attica’s Chief of Staff and younger brother, shrugged helplessly. She liked to think of him as the RFK to her JFK. Without the whole getting shot in the head thing. “G-get off twitter,” he said. He was not partaking in the breakfast that Attica’s assistant picked up for the team. Something about the breakfast pastries and espresso made him bitch about how unhealthy it all was. Leon opted to bring a protein shake instead, which worked out for him. At 6 feet tall and weighing over 200 pounds of muscle, he was often mistaken for her bodyguard if he wasn’t dressed up. He kept his black hair shorn close to his head, which didn’t help either. It made him look like he was the type to rip people apart with his bare hands. “You’re obsessing.”

“Where the fuck is Myers?” she asked. “He’s my communications director. Shouldn’t he be out here, I don’t know, directing? Putting an end to all this fake bullshit.” Attica looked at her phone again, pulling up a particularly offensive tweet. “‘ King is unhinged and desperate, putting the needs of lobbyists in front of the needs of her constituents.’--and this is posted with that terrible picture of me, that unflattering close-up where I had pollen in my eyes so they looked red.” She was gripping her phone so tightly that her knuckles went white. “Now whose fault was that? I didn’t have my eye-drops.”

The only other staff member present, Attica’s personal assistant of 3 years, went bug eyed. This was magnified by her thick lensed glasses. She put up her hands defensively and almost dropped the armful of manila folders she was holding. “That’s not my fault, that picture was from when I took some personal time off.”

“That was when you were vacationing in the mental hospital again and I had to rely on a temp for two weeks and was completely up shit creek without you, Serena, so yes it was completely your fault.”

Serena was in her mid 20’s and pretty in a frazzled, underfed, nerdy way. She had only been hired because she was Iranian or something and Attica had been afraid she looked racist after making some allegedly offensive comments while supporting the President’s drone strikes in the Middle East. As it turned out, Serena was brilliant and had graduated from Notre Dame with a degree in Political Science, an inexplicable Chemistry minor, and a desire to work on the Hill. The only reason Attica hadn’t appointed her to a more important position at this point was due to her unfortunate tendency to eat handfuls of pills whenever life got too stressful.

Attica quickly cycled back to the matter at hand. She poured some coffee, which she knew would only make her keep vibrating. It was her 3rd cup of the day. She felt like a hummingbird. “What am I going to do about these people degrading me online?”

From where he sat on the couch, Leon leaned over to out his face in his hands. Dramatic bitch. “For the last time, remember the first amendment.”

“R-r-remember the f-f-first amendment,” Attica repeated in a high pitched child’s voice, mocking him. She chugged the rest of her coffee and caught Serena staring at her like she had lost her mind. At this rate she was going to going to have a heart attack before she turned 40. “Grandfather would have sent someone after those motherfuckers with a crowbar.”

“G-Grandfather was a monster.”

He was right. But being monstrous was just more effective. Who was that old dead guy who said it was better to be feared than loved? Napoleon?

Attica kept looking at her phone. Too bad people didn’t seem to fear her yet. She could feel the blood pounding in her face. When she was angry, her skin turned very red, blotchy and unattractive. It couldn’t be helped. And what she was reading made her angry. Half of what she was mentioned in was negative. And half of those were violent, threats against her. “Here,” she said, landing on an egregious one. “‘King’s giant tits once again distracting everyone from her cloven hooves lol’. I want this person dragged into the street and shot.”

“Jesus C-Christ, c-c-calm down.” The muscles in Leon’s face tightened. He was gritting his teeth.

“Ma’am, maybe you should put your phone away,” said Serena.

Attica kept reading. “‘The NRA owns King but how would she like it if she got used as target practice’. ‘If I saw (pretend this is an at sign)AtticaKingIN in real life I would punch that bitch in the face.’” She began to breathe faster. Were these people from Indiana? Would they vote? Did they actually hate her? Who were these people? “‘King is part of the GOP gestapo’. ‘(at)AtticaKingIN doesn’t care about gun violence in her own state, vote her out!’ ‘I hate that dumb cunt (at)AtticaKingIN she needs to shut her mouth or suck my dick’. ‘I--”

Leon stood up, snatched Attica’s phone out of her hands, then held it above her head where she couldn’t reach it. Attica punched him in the chest but her brother was a wall of muscle and didn’t seem to feel it.

“Seriously, A, you need to c-calm down,” he told her. Attica punched him again. “I don’t want to know about the threats anyone’s making towards you, it’s upsetting. At 9, that lobbyist who works for Madeline C-Caligaris--”

“Do you want some xanax?” Serena interrupted.

Attica spun around to glare at her. She was aware of how flushed she must look. It was just...she cared so much about what people thought about her. “No,” she said coldly, but breathing heavily. She brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Imagine if Grandfather could see her now. After all, he had wanted Leon to head the family business. Hell, before he died, the old man had even expressed regret for treating their youngest..brother, Milo, like a stray dog. But never her. And Attica had tried so hard for all those years and slaved away just to get his validation… “Do you need a xanax, Serena?”

“I do now,” muttered Serena.

Attica tried to grab her phone one more time, then gave up and sat down.

It wasn’t even 7:15.

She took a deep breath to clear her head. “Ok. Tell me about this lobbyist. Calligaris-- that’s the Proverge exec, right?”

Leon nodded curtly. He put his sister’s phone in his breast pocket and sat down next to her. With a sudden rush of urgency, Attica realized that all he had wanted to do was protect her. How had their roles switched like that? When they were little she constantly made herself torment the kids who picked on him for the way he talked. After 30 years he barely even stuttered anymore. “C-can I get those files from Foster v Proverge, please?” Serena leafed through her armful of papers and presented him with the relevant ones. “Thanks. You read this, A?”

“Let’s work under the assumption that I didn’t.” She had been too busy talking to her numbers guy about the polls the previous night to actually look into anything that would affect her policies.

“Proverge wants to build a factory in your district. Magic distillation for use in their products. 200 new jobs. They c-can’t get approval in Indiana anymore-- they c-can’t get approval from most places these days because of all the lawsuits. People protest.”

Attica rolled her eyes. Liberals. “What lawsuits?”

“From the early 2000’s. Proverge distillation factories in Georgia, Tennessee, and Michigan all attempted to c-cover up widespread negative variant medical symptoms that affected workers who were exposed to thauma-slurry being distilled unsafely.” Leon flipped a few pages of the file. “Mostly c-cosmetic. But there were c-claims that the exposure to the slurry also lead to violent psychological problems and some c-clearly unsafe environmental effects.”

People were so whiny. Attica shrugged. “200 new jobs is more important than a couple honest mistakes the company made. I want to make this happen-- an announcement about job creation could really push my numbers in the polls. If protests become a problem, I’ll just send in the cops to clean them up.” She paused. “Or, I’ll send in Milo.”

Leon looked at her like he was trying to peerinto her soul or something. His broad, honest face was genuinely concerned. What did he see in her face? Did he see the will to do whatever she had to? “He’s g-g-getting worse. You c-can’t keep doing that.”

“The fuck I can.”

“He’s not listening to me anymore.” Leon’s face twisted up. Out of the whole family, he was the only one who treated Milo as more than he was. He allowed their deviant half brother to terrorize everyone as he pleased, just because he felt sorry for the bastard. “He’s go-g-going to screw up.”

The thing about Milo, was that someone had to be holding his leash.

“He’s fine,” Attica said with finality. “Maybe if he fucks up bad enough, he’ll actually learn his lesson.”

Leon stood up, handed her phone back, and walked out of the room without saying another word.

“Are you talking about your creepy little brother again?” asked Serena. She was scurrying around, straightening up the breakfast pastries and exuding her nervous energy. “He makes me uncomfortable.”

Attica massaged her forehead. “Me too,” she said. “Can you get in touch with the Proverge people and make sure they’re on their way?”

“On it.”

She could feel a headache coming on. But getting the credit for creating 200 new jobs... it was worth it. It was even worth dealing with Milo. It was worth it. She could be proud of herself. It was worth it. It would all be worth it.

Wouldn’t it?

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

how to keep yourself together during uni semesters in australia:

im not gonna lie: over the past 3 years at uni, i have never kept myself together. so, im probably not the right type of person to give anyone advice on how to keep yourself “together” at uni lmao. but i felt like doing it, since im close to finishing so here you go, people:

class/subject and degree advice:

- if you’re not doing a double degree (which will probably give you four or five subjects to do each sem, and a full 4-5 days at uni each week, like some of my friends), stay home on your days off. take those days both to relax, and also fill yourself in to do some of your readings (although i’ll admit i only started the “doing my readings” thing this semester after two years of ignoring them, lol whoops.) this will help your stress levels a bit (hopefully) bc at least you know what the fuck you’re talking about in class and can actually say something during your tuts/lectures.

- if you’re doing a single degree or even a double degree (again i know some people who’ve done it with double degrees), and your full load of 4 or maybe 5 subjects is stressing you the fuck out, drop down to three units per a semester, if you want to actually keep a full load for certain things. yes, it will make your degree go slower in most cases, but not as slow as going part time. it will obvs make your load a tad lighter (if you’re a full-time student), and it’ll free up your days spent at uni. it will give you fewer deadlines to worry/stress about. 

on another note, go part time if you want to/have to. i met one person at a careers fair this year who’d been at uni for five years doing her commerce degree with just one subject a semester bc it gave her less stress and plenty of time to actually work at her job.

- go to your faculty’s/school’s help desk to find out whether your course progression is right. also book meetings with the head of your faculty whenever you can; according to the head of the students bookings are open or wherever possible in your timetable. doing this lets you know whether you’re progressing with your course in the right time-frame, or right time-frame for you. remember, these people are there to help you. this saved me hours of worrying throughout my degree. 

- TRANSFER DEGREES IF YOU HAVE TO: if you feel out of your depth, or completely disinterested in your degree, transfer from it. in some cases (mostly if you’re in the same faculty and the degree is a flexible/general one) you can easily get the first year subjects in transfer credit. this is what i did in first year, when i realised that i felt very out my depth, personality-wise and for other reasons, in the bachelor of communication and media studies in 2015. i knew, after one semester of it, that it was not what i wanted to study.

I realised that forcing myself through marketing and management subjects and studying blogging at uni just bc i had a tumblr- yes, that was my kind of ridiculous and super misguided reason for picking the course, believe it or not- would “kill” me, (like obvs not literally) but it would drain tf out of me if i continued w/ it. but  luckily, since it was in the same faculty, all i had to do was do an extra subject in spring sem in 2015 (bc degree changes required you to have 24 credit points in a semester to transfer at my uni for most courses), and that sem sucked, but i got a years worth of credit in my degree, so i finish one semester earlier.

- for classes in a single degree, try and find your ideal amount of days at uni. my ideal is three days. i almost had the opportunity to have a two day week at uni this sem, bc the timetable gods were almost good to me. but unfortunately, the timetable gods were assholes and managed to let a two hour tut for one class (editing) on tuesdays ran through my US literature lecture. but i also didn’t really want just 2 days at uni, bc i knew that i probably wouldn’t be fucking productive at all in the 3 remaining days i had off during the week.

- go part-time if you have to, no matter whether you’re on a single or a double degree. do your degree on your own terms.

- don’t listen to your parents spiel on your degree or what majors/minors to do. same goes for running your subject choices by your parents. 

- or if uni is really, really getting you down, you can defer for six months and go back later. (also, for mental health, see a councilor/psychologist either from your uni or outside of uni, i started doing this after a mental breakdown in second year). 

- on feedback from your professors/tutors: okay, so. i’ll admit here that i’ve become the asshole student that literally only gives a shit about the number grade, rather than the quality etc comments that the professor (usually) gives back to me after they’ve marked my assignment, bc i don’t really have the heart to read what they’ve written etc. but, like. actually read their feedback... or listen to it. 

if you have an odd professor that likes to give audio feedback (one of my philosophy profs did this, and no. i didn’t listen to it on either assignment, particularly bc it was my least fave subject that sem and bc i had a drama with the essay that lost me like 20% of my grade for that subject), listen back to it and see what they say on your (presumably, i have faith in y’all) well bullshitted essay. their feedback is valuable. also don’t be afraid to approach your tutors for feedback either.

- on asking for help/advice on your assignments or the subject in general from your profs/tutors: DO THIS. of course, it’ll just be general guidance in their consultation hours or via email, but, don’t be scared to ask them! it might boost your marks a bit or help you clarify your essay’s argument or something like that. i was too terrified for the better part of my degree, and then too stubborn to ask for help from my profs/tutors and i think that’s why my marks and my mental health got kinda shitty. idk how to ask for help. but then again, idk how many people actually do this in the courses i did. but y’all do it.

for the general side of this, they can help you by giving you extensions (if they’re not an asshole) or whatever to help you sort your shit out. this is something i never did. but do it when you need it.

- on the topic of marks, they don’t matter. but don’t try and settle in the “p’s get degrees” mindset... even though i say this whenever i get a final mark and it’s a pass. i aimed for a credit average tbh, marks wise. i’m dead average lmao. but then again, i’ve never been a straight-A student, born to graduate uni with like high class honours or the like.

general uni life and life advice:

- GET YOUR P’S OR BLACKS (i.e. GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENCE Y’ALL), if your family circumstances permit it or if you’re motivated enough, before you get to uni. it’ll open up so many opportunities on campus (if you don’t live on the campus and you live far away from it). and also other ops outside of uni. (but then again you might not bother driving to uni everyday  bc like uni parking, depending how it is at your uni, will always be a fight for spots.

- although i said earlier to use your days off to do some study... also use them for self-care and like life admin meaning the following:

face masks

actually take a looooonnnnngggg fucking showers y’all. the shower is the one place you’ll actually fully relax while you’re at uni. also it’s a good place to mentally plan and map out your essays etc.

yes, netflix

BUY A KINDLE (if your budget permits ofc). although it was a big cost on the outset obvs (its like $200), it was the best investment for me. i saved a fuck ton of money for some subjects, bc the books were either free or like $20-$30 cheaper on my kindle and not anywhere between $20-$40 for some texts in the uni shop. like, textbooks for english lit/creative writing or even philosophy (sometimes) etc subjects, can amount in costing to $200 or more in total for buying separate texts, just like a single, average business/law/nursing/science textbook.

read books from outside of your prescribed texts, and get totally engrossed in them if you can. i did this in first year with the complete tomorrow, when the war began series and the ellie chronicles (it’s sequel trilogy) by john marsden. and yes, i completely ignored by readings for these books, bc i hated like 90% of my uni texts. but i’ll admit that it made uni a tad more bearable, though.

if you have free days, do not go into uni. use them to catch up on sleep. or do my next point.

apply for jobs. maybe you’ll be lucky to get one and learn how to balance study with work. also it can keep you sane, money wise. something i didn’t get to have during these last 3 and a 1/2 years. but you’ll also get to know how hiring works, in general.

make yourself a fucking study timetable. this will help you get an idea of when you’re set for study. and i know, i know. it’s so hypocritical of me to suggest this bc i never bothered to make one for myself anf instead went with “i’ll study when i feel like it”......... which, um, barely ever happened all throughout uni... until this sem. lol whoops. try and stick to your timetable.

if you can, delete you fucking tumblr. 

COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MAKE THIS BEVERAGE YOUR FRIEND.

if your uni has a bar, don’t avoid it. you might make friends there. i was alone at uni for a vast bulk of the time, so i avoided the bar and mostly stayed in the library.... which didn’t give me much time to make friends.

if you make good friends at uni, talk to them often, so that you can coordinate some of your classes/tuts with them and so you can exchange not w/ each other to save time come exams. it’ll also save your ass in some classes where the prof passes around the roll in the lecture and doesn’t really check the attendance

also try and pick subjects that have recorded lectures, those fuckers save your ass come essay writing time etc.

if you’re doing literature/creative writing etc subjects, read some of your prescribed texts in the uni break- in either the november-march break or the june/july break. yeah, it’ll drive you insane bc you’re reading for a class in the holidays, but, fuck. it’s saved my ass a couple of times with books that are anywhere between 200-400 pages long (e.g. wuthering heights, lady chatterly’s lover, the grapes of wrath, any of shakespeare’s plays etc etc) giving me either a lighter reading load bc I’d finished the book during break or I’d left a few pages near the end of the book, but had read the bulk saving me a fuck tonne of reading time during the heavy part of the sem.

AUDIOBOOKS BITCHES. i only started using audiobooks on youtube when doing shakespeare. but damn. they’re amazing if you don’t really want to be engaged in a physical book sometimes, and great for gauging the tone of whats being said/picturing the characters more clearly when doing literature/creative writing subs. i’ve heard several times that they’re particularly good for commuting to and from uni, if you live far away. but sometimes they can be a bit pricey.

buy secondhand textbooks y’all.

DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS IN ADVANCE, in some cases. i did this for a lot of my subjects, and some times one to two of the texts changed each year... or in one case, THE WHOLE FUCKING READING LIST CHANGED. LITERALLY, and i’d spent like $200 buying the books in advance. but also, i got to read some good books by accident. don’t waste your money. but if you can find them cheap (like old editions in other fields obvs, that students are selling, buy them if you hella need the book)

take lunch in to save money on expensive campus food. but on that same note, don’t forget to spoil yourself with some of the nice food on campus every once in while.

also for lit/creative writing subjects, go to your local op shop or thrift shop to find some of the older books and get them for like $2 or 90cents instead of the fucking $15-$30 that your uni will have you sell your soul for.

Feel free to add more!!! and defs for other fields! 

[decoding1432]

Parents & Friends

Some stans have picked sides due to the parent’s behaviour on SM. Just the way some reflect all the hate collected from other stans onto the girls, it’s the same deal when it comes to their parents. Due to the fact that certain people can’t stand them, they decide to whether unstan or throw shit at the girls for it.

If you don’t think all these subtle shade going on is done with a purpose, try to give it a second thought.

The thing with this whole “shading” is that we've got two viewpoints:

From Camila’s side we saw how her parents stopped acknowledging the group & this happened since the fighting days. Now, let's put ourselves in the Cabellos’ shoes for a moment:

Imagine one day your daughter & her bandmates are played such a dirty trick & they cut communication. (Yes, I still believe this is how all went down). Anyway back to our scenario, now thanks to this they are not on speaking terms anymore. Your daughter releases her first solo project. It's important for her. However the people pulling the group strings are setting her in a very dark position. They are painting her in a very negative light in front of her fans.

Around those days, you log into your Twitter account several times & you see one fan turns against her. But as time passes by that one “fan” multiplicates & turns into 10 more haters. Then 50, then 100 & so it goes on & on. The situation worsens. Now, your daughter starts receiving hateful tweets 24/7. Your daughter starts getting sick. Her mental health state is seriously compromised but the people behind her career are doing nothing to help the situation, in fact they are making it more toxic for her. The issue with her bandmates is still not solved. The haters seem unstoppable at this point… Your daughter is mentally exhausted to a point where she describes her anxieties having anxieties.

That continues for a year. Along the way your daughter & her bandmates rekindled their bond. But it’s not all bright again since they must not give that away on camera. Another thing to add is that her bandmates are told not to defend her on SM to make the haters cease. Tell me are you happy with the brand & the poisonous environment they created around your daughter? The answer is obvious.

Let’s take a look at 5H’s angle. The way I see it, you’re a 40-50 year old & you spend your days bashing a 20 year old through Twitter... immaturity at its finest, right?

The tricky aspect here is that the parents’ wishes contradict their actions.

E.g.  The parents want hatred to stop. Some like Mama Dre have expressed it & also it’s not even necessary to have this captured on a tweet to understand. Anyhow, they want the hate to cease but they encourage haters with their comments? Logic 2+2= potato

Now, personally the moment Mike started being shady that seemed fishy af to me. We’re talking about the same person that liked C’s departure letter (apparently he unliked it a little after, not really sure). Anyway, even if he didn’t, he was always all about the five girls & one of the non-problematic ones before the mess started unraveling. It makes sense that they started using him, not only to cut all ties with Camren but to influence the stans more strongly as well.

I asked lawyerlarry if this has happened with their boys, using their relatives to mold or push the narrative. This was her answer:

Since we don’t know what type of contract the girls are under we can’t know for sure if the parents are completely obligated. However one thing is for sure, clearly as a parent you’re going to want the best for your kid.

I’m bringing back some points I’ve written about this same subject in a past masterpost…

TV anon: “The thing about the parents is that THEY ARE PARENTS so they are gonna be protective and going to support their child 100%. Now, the moment the girls became legal, the parents are off negotiations or meetings so the only thing they know is what their daughters told them (and we don’t know how restrictive the contract is or even if the girls go and spill full deets to their parents) and you are right, their behavior is very contradictory, even from parents of the same child. Example, Lauren’s parents. Her dad it’s super supportive of the 5 of them and her mom is really over the top, to be honest lol. I have seen them throwing shade and then talking about supporting the 5 of them so maybe the shade is for the label. Or at some point it was for Camila but then they got informed and realized the situation, who knows. Let’s not forget, they don’t belong to the industry so they don’t know how to handle situations like these. Such as their children, they are too emotional. The parents and friends subject is tricky, cause who knows how much they know/or don’t know.”

Every single time I get worried I might be overthinking I return to the question told above: If they know they are only worsening their situation & attracting more toxicity toward their daughters why would they continue with this childish behaviour? Also the girls are not stupid, cause even if these were truly their parents’ actions don’t doubt they wouldn’t stop them.

Once more, this applies to their parents. When it comes to other relatives like Leilani, we're completely unaware of how close she's or not with Dinah, let alone the rest of the girls. She could be throwing shade in order to help them or simply she’s an attention seeker. For all we know a) she could have been told an alternate story along the way b) she is acquainted with only a very small part of the truth c) nothing at all & she knows just as much as we do.

When it comes to friends, let alone not their closest friends, we can coincide that they surely don’t know the story from head to toe but since they’re familiar with the girls at a certain extent they claim to for the sake of rts & attention. Dealing with the parents topic is ambiguous. “I think the parents ought to know everything, don’t fool yourself, why would the girls keep things from them?” Believe it or not, there’s always possibility. Here I consider a list of reasons why it COULD be true:

TV anon couldn’t have said it better…

When the girls became legal, procedures & regulations on the entertainment business gave a 180 degrees turn.

Non-disclosure agreements are a common thing in the industry.

Thus far none of the girls has shaded each other. Although, other people have accomplished a fraction of this “dirty work” for them. Such as friends, crew team members, & their parents. What I’ve caught on this culmination of “bitterness” is that it’s quite contradictory. To elaborate: Lucy shaded Camila around two or three weeks later by liking one IG post that was referring to C as “Canola”. What I found funny is how less than a month before, Lucy literally appeared on Dinah’s livestream hanging with her & Camila at their bus.

When I wrote that, the BB 5H issue hadn’t come out yet. Also these past few days, Lucy has publicly shown her support for Camila on SM. Also let’s add, she isn’t the only connection from Lauren that’s been doing this lately...

Now, some of LAND’s friends have publicly supported C. To me, it hints at the bigger picture that the ladies are in good terms. Some of you might disagree, maybe you consider they’re not friends any longer. Fine that’s your POV, but I don’t share that perspective. Not because I refuse to let go OT5 or anything remotely similar, but like I’ve said numerous times before, the fact that the girls knew about C leaving since 2015 & all the moments we had along 2016 I consider it a sign that they were able to somewhat fix whatever issues they had a year before.

Even if you agree or not with me on their current friendship status, you can’t deny the following: LAND doesn’t speak badly about Camila bts unlike what media wants to make us believe.

(Fun fact: Josh liked the following two days after the split announcement)

Enough with Josh (he stans Camila hard lol) Let’s check the rest of their friends...

I would insert here the videos of Simone & Sydney jamming to CITC, unfortunately I couldn’t download them but that doesn’t me we must not take them into account as well.

Next one might not be recent but reminder that Normani wrote as part of those thoughts: “I have love and respect for all four of my bandmates whether you choose to believe it or not” “I have to address foolishness manufactured by those that have absolutely no idea what goes on” “For those who enjoy speculating and creating drama that doesn’t exist, please keep in mind that myself and the other girls in the group are PEOPLE” etc...

Out of all their friends or people they’ve worked with, in my opinion, when Angie (their temporary guitarist after Ashlee left) commented on C’s IG post is the one proof that I would take over any of the above to pinpoint that THIS...

...doesn’t reflect any of THIS...

In conclusion, I believe that the relatives & some friends are attempting to help the girls as much as they can. I repeat, it’s uncertain how much the girls are allowed to tell them. But some things are undeniably true... They (parents & friends) know how fucked up this business is, they have seen how much the 5 ladies have struggled in these past years. If there’s something they can’t do, is stop this madness. They can’t break the system, they can’t protect them from this industry. But they can try to fulfill part of the “dirty work”, otherwise I’m sure it would have to come directly from the girls. Don’t judge them, they are willing to do anything if it means taking some of the burden off of the girls’ shoulders. How do I know this latter? Cause I might only be a fan but I would do it too.

Question: if you had a friend or a relative in they industry, would you doubt putting yourself in the spotlight for a second in order to give them a hand?

P.S. Alejandro liked Clara’s “shady” tweet that was supposedly aimed at Camila.

[00sheven]

the break down

I make 21.00 an hour. without overtime that puts me at approximately 2748.48 a month after taxes.

food. 775.00 this was calculated at 25.00 a day 1 meal for breakfast 1 meal for lunch. to figure for the goose and I make it 50.00. the goose's mother has been sending 50.00 a week to help offset some of the cost.

medical ins. 500.00

I have kaiser.

I have not been able to use it. i have a 50 co pay to see a doctor. my prescription copy is 15 for generic and 50 for name brand.

if I have to go to the hospital that 350.00 for the ER and I believe 350.00 a day and they won't cover me after 5 days. I think it goes up to like 6000.00 that may be incorrect. I dont have the info. in front of me but you get the the idea. plus theres money for labs and specialists which im in need of both. by the way, I am diabetic, I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. (my dad died at 37 years old from a massive heart attack.) I am also bipolar. these all require regular doctors visits and medication. cancer and heart disease run in my family and I have had a polyp removed from my colon 5 years ago. I havent been checked since. your supposed to get checked every three years. i dropped the ball on that one.

car payment. 300.00

uncle frank 200.00

to offset expenses he may incur. child support.

phone for the goose and I 136.97

t mobil

car ins. 124.49

I have to have full coverage while I am making house payments lol.. (jokes)

storage (the closet.) 150.00

gas 100.00

old medical bill. 50.00

I found out I had an old medical bill that went to collections. I'm trying to fix my credit so I have to pay it off.

car cleaning 10.00

misc. 102.94

this includes a monthly amazon prime member ship so I can buy for the goose, car, myself) stuff on the cheap or by a click instead of running all over the place.

a gym membership. so I can have a place to shower and kill time. I might as well take some classes.

and the rest is media packages like Netflix and hulu there is also showtime in there (I only have it when homeland or a couple of other shows are on.)as well as scribd. if I'm gonna live in my car I'm going to be able to watch my shows. it's the small things that make a big difference. especially in morale. I know that this could potentially piss someone off, and that's okay. I understand. that's a visit to the doctors, or 4 days of food or 2 brand name prescriptions. but actually for me it is a little more important. it's a distraction, its there when things are so bad that I cant even concentrate to read a book. when I'm caught and spiraling out of control in my depression. when I just want to sleep all the time. (life is much more entertaining when you are unconscious. I have vivid life like dreams, which can be a good or bad thing ) I just turn it on and go on auto pilot. it takes me out of the situation, it helps to break the self destructive thought patterns. it engages me and allows my mind time to rest, and correct it self. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, it's the same with medication. the meds work for awhile but they numb you to the world, and then the darkness creeps back in. plus is it better to feel nothing at all?.....sorry I'm getting off of subject. it's okay if you dont agree with this, it's not your money or health and I'm not asking you for anything. I'm just giving you the facts about my situation and trying to be honest at the same time.

=2449.40

2748.48 -

2449.40 =299.08

well there it is. that's what I got left for rent. granted once we find a place the storage bill goes away along with the food total because we can eat at home. the car should be paid off in a couple of months, and then I can knock out the medical bill balance. i do have two credit cards that I will be paying off as well that I have not mentioned. they've made it possible for me to get stuff that i need to make this as comfortable as possible. a lot of prep has gone into this. I hope it pays off.

this should be kind of scary to someone living paycheck to paycheck. imagine if I didnt have the car. i am truly grateful for what i have. i work full time. think of how it is for some people out there who are unemployable or have had a run of bad luck. no place to sleep, those people could be hungry, trying to provide for children, mentally ill. there are a number of reasons that they could be in that situation. in these days and the way things are its a deep hole to climb out of. it is also very difficult. so if you dont know anything about social services or programs to get you off the street please, either educate yourself or keep your mouth shut. they dont make it easy to get help, and if you do get it, it seems to be designed to keep hanging on by your fingernails. think about this the next time someone asks you for help or your pocket change for that matter. even if they want a 40 or a crack rock it transports them from thier shitty situation to something tolerable for a short period of time. have some fucking mercy and compassion. we are all human beings and we all want the same things to a greater or lesser degree, and I'm not talking about it in the material sense either. I saw a homeless encampment on lankershim right off the freeway in north hollywood. people had thier cars parked right out in front of thier tents. I know I'm not alone. I hope this doesn't happen to you or your family.

2/22/20

[melt-your-headache-call-it-home]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself, and at the end, chose 25 people to tag

i was tagged by @goldun-days thank you bby<3

LAST:

1.) drink: Tropicana smooth orange juice

2.) phone call: Arran

3.) text messages: Arran as well lmao

4.) song you listened to: State of Dreaming by Marina And The Diamonds

5.) time you cried: last week 

HAVE YOU EVER

6.) dated someone twice: Yeah when i was like 14/15 mainly cause Tom was nice and i got guilted by my friends into it. It was chill tho only for 3 months the first time and a week the second lol It’s chill we bros now lmao

7.) been cheated on: Most probably, i mean all the signs were there but they werent gonna admit it so they blanked it instead (i used to date proper cunts)

8.) kissed someone and regretted it: Ermm yeah mainly cause it’d be truth or dare and they’d be sloppy lmao

9.) lost someone special: Noooope and i dont ever want to thanks

10.) been depressed: ooooo bby idk...yeah 24/7

11.) gotten drunk and thrown up: Yeah and its like either weirdly relieving or im screeching like pterodactyl and crying 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12.) Blue

13.) Pastel black 

14.) Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15.) made new friends: yeah i have!!!

16.) fallen out of love: nah boi still love my guy arran, my dude

17.) laughed until you cried: Erm ive laughed so hard my eyes water and i cant breath but not like full cry

18.) found out someone was talking about you: ooooooo bish u better believe it and i may have made one passive aggressive tweet and then fazed them out of my life lmao

19.) met someone who changed you: Erm yeah i guess so

20.) found out who your true friends are: Yeah pretty much but i hope to make more in September as well

21.) kissed someone on your Facebook list: My dude ive kissed quite a few people on my fb list, mostly truth or dare tho

22.) how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them except like a few 

23.) do you have any pets: I have a pure white cat named Gandalf

24.) do you want to change your name: nah ive made my peace with it

25.) what did you do for your last birthday: i was twenty and with Arran we went round london, had a fancy tea, went back and opened my presents then had dinner, it was pretty chill.

26.) what time did you wake up: 12:05pm

27.) what were you doing at midnight last night: Watching youtube stuff with Arran

28.) name something you cannot wait for: To move to uni and start my degree and feel like i have a purpose. Oh and the day i have emotional stability and am not riddled with mental illnesses lmao

29.) when was the last time you saw your mother: Monday afternoon

30.) what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: That i didnt have such a messed up childhood. Like if i could id rewrite the bad parts.

31.) what are you listening to right now:   There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by P!@tTD

32.) have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yepp I dated one, was friends with one and probably have spoken to countless strangers called Tom unknowingly 

33.) something that gets on your nerves: Me

34.) most visited website: This or Instagram

35.) elementary: my dear watson 

36.) high school: Musical????????????

37.) college: Leila was stressed and sad but she’s going back for round two in September

38.) hair color: It’s blue but with black roots and shaved parts cause i got a fancy haircut and now i have an undercut lmao 

39.) long or short hair: I was supposed to grow it out then 38′s answer happened so it’s v short and masculine

40.) do you have a crush on someone: probably Brendon Urie I love him so much but it’s been so long lmao

41.) what do you like about yourself: My hair is blue that’s about it

42.) piercings: Ears and snakebites

43.) blood type: idk red???

44.) relationship status: in a relationship 

45.) nicknames: my mum is the only one who really calls me these; leilabug, lala, Troll,Gromit and Clever Little Bean Sprout. Sometimes my aunt or nan will use a couple of them but not often. 

46.) zodiac sign: Sagittarius

47.) pronouns: she/her  they/them

48.) fav tv show: heck idk i watch a lot of crap

49.) tattoos: a geometric unicorn stick and poke but i have some planned for my 21st

50.) right or left handed: Right!

FIRST:

51.) surgery: none boi

52.) piercing: Ears

53.) best friend: omfg either craig in nursery or Lacey in Infant school. 

54.) sport: Basket Ball

55.) vacation: my mum, my aunt, my aunts kid, my uncle, my sister and a family friend and me all drove in two big cars to the isle of wight and it was lit. I was like 10 and i wanna do it again next year for the banter

56.) pair of trainers: They were the best okayyyyy they fucking lit up every time you made a step and ive wanted them ever since. i finally got another pair for my 20th, after 18yrs long years of waiting lmao

57.) eating: first eating?????

58.) drinking: first drinking??? ??????????????

59.) about to see: im so confused

60.) listening to: Panic! At The Disco - Always

61.) waiting for: Arran to come home cause im hungry lmao

62.) want:Emotional stability and food

63.) get married: yeah 

64.) career: I’d love to be a working artist but i doubt it’ll happen 

WHICH IS BETTER

65.) hugs or kisses: Kisses cause i hate being touched at times

66.) lips or eyes: Eyes

67.) shorter or taller: I like taller partners but apart from that idm

68.) younger or older: Slightly older. 

69.) romantic or spontaneous: spontaneously romantic

70.) nice arms or nice stomach: ughhhhhhhh i love both 

71.) sensitive or loud: Sensitive 

72.) hook up or relationship: Relationship

73.) troublemaker or hesitant: Bit of both 

74.) kissed a stranger: Yeah when i was younger and not shackled to my partner who i love and care for

75.) drank hard liquor: Yeah i guess

76.) lost glasses/contact lenses: contact lenses that i paid good money for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

77.) turned someone down: yeah it always makes me feel uncomfortable

78.) sex on first date: kind of???????????????????????

79.) broken someone’s heart: yah i guess

80.) had your own heart broken: yeah boi but i lost weight so it was good lmao

81.) been arrested: no

82.) cried when someone died: only in movies so far

83.) fallen for a friend: erm yeah that’s kind of how all my relationships happen

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.) yourself?:heck, im trying to

85.) miracles?: not like religiously but miraculous things do happen i guess

86.) love at first sight?: nope, it’s just lust, love comes with time and personality

87.) santa claus?: not anymore my dreams were shattered 

88.) kiss on the first date?: i have yes

89.) angels?: no

OTHER…

90.) current best friends name(s): Zoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Arran is kinda like my best friend but he’s my boyfriend whereas Zoe is like the OG lmao

91.) eye color: Brown :/

92.) favorite movie: The Little Mermaid, Anastasia, Interview With A Vampire. I have loads but ive gone blank :c 

It says to tag 25 people but no

I tag: @the-leviathans-mansion  @biancamakesmejumpoutofwindows

@red-eyedsoul @strawberriedd @hateintheseveiins @lightninginmyeyes 

id tag more people but my laptop is lagging v much. You don’t have to do this if u dont want but if u wanna go for it!!!!!!!!

Thanks!!

[delos-mio]

Partners- Part 3- AU College Logan

A/N: um sorry this “chapter” is kinda long idk it just got away from me soooo lol

It started out soft, his lips barely brushing against yours. They were full and soft as your mouths got to know each other. You moaned into his lips when his teeth grazed your bottom lip, tugging on it gently. Both of your breathing became heavy as the kissed gained intensity, hands beginning to roam. It was when you felt his fingers dance near the swell of your breast that you broke away from him.

“I…I have to go…” You stood up quickly, shoving your notebook back in your bag. Logan was still sitting up in bed, a confused look on his face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. We shouldn’t have…”

“Why the fuck not? Why are you leaving?” he questioned, standing up out of bed, making his way over to you.

“Because you don’t know me at all, Logan. And I barely know you,” you huffed. He had an almost pained expression at your admission. “And I don’t think you really want to know me well. And that’s fine. But I won’t let you just—“ you started before he cut in.

“Whoa! A little judgmental, don’t you think?” He crossed his arms.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” you whispered. He stood directly in front of you, nearly a head taller than you. He paused, giving his next question a little thought.

“We have a game on Friday and a party here after. I want you to come,” he said running his thumb over his bottom lip. “You can bring your roommate or friend or whatever if you want,” he added quickly. You stared into his deep brown eyes for a moment, waiting for the punchline. Why was he so keen on having you around?

“I think we can probably come for a bit,” you said coyly, smirking at him hoping to diffuse some of the tension.

“Glad you can make time for me,” Logan teased. You both awkwardly smiled at each other for a minute before he spoke once more. “Can I…” He reached forward and cupped your cheek, placing a single soft kiss on your lips. You blushed as you stepped back from him, picking up your bag once again. You reached in and grabbed a pen and took his hand in yours.

“Let me know what time,” you said as you scribbled your number on his palm. You turned to leave and heard him snort a little behind you.

“You do remember I JUST showered?” He called to you.

“Shut up,” you laughed and closed his bedroom door behind you. Night had fallen and you were thankful the walk back to your apartment was relatively short since it had easily dropped below 40 degrees at this point. You bounded up the staircase and tried to quietly open your door, but Sam was already there to greet you.

“Spill.”

“Can I set my things down first, please?”

“No.” She sat at the kitchen table and beckoned you over. After dropping your bag at your feet, per her request, you sat down across from her. “So, did he try to kiss you?”

“Oh my god Sam…” you blushed.

“HE DID!! He totally kissed you! You little minx,” she teased. “How was it? Was it super hot? God he’s so hot, Y/N…” she said trailing off, no doubt lost in her own explicit thoughts about Logan.

“It was nice,” you said, completely understating the way you felt when he first put his lips on yours. “Anyway, we were invited to a party at his frat after the game Friday.” As soon as the words left your mouth, you saw her eyes widen tenfold.

“I…we…you said yes, right?”

“I did, but I didn’t think you’d be this crazy about a frat party. We haven’t been to one in almost three years,” you chuckled.

“Yeah but Logan and all those lacrosse boys weren’t there three years ago,!” she exclaimed. You laughed and rose slowly from your seat.

“Well, I still have some homework to finish up, so I bid you adieu.” You went back and scooped your bag up off the floor before heading for your room.

“Pizza later?” she yelled. You flashed her a thumbs up before closing your door behind you. You were a few hours deep in reading for biology when you felt your desk vibrate. You lifted your phone to be faced with an unknown number.

L: Hey you. Games at 7, party around 10

Your stomach did a flip before you typed out your response. Part of you thought it was all an elaborate act and he’d never text you.

Y: Great I’ll see you there L: Gotta go hard at practice this week, make sure I impress ya Y: Oh god… L: Are you rolling your eyes at me? ;) Y: Clearly L: Why are you so mean to me? Y: I’m not mean to you. You’re just a cocky little shit L: I’ve never been accused of that Y: It’s true L: So…what are you wearing right now? Y: Goodnight Logan

You scoffed at him at switched your phone to its lock screen. After getting ready for bed, you settled in and lied awake thinking about Logan and your day. Finally, sleep overtook you, only to meet that dark-haired boy again in your dreams.

Friday was finally here and campus was buzzing with excitement. Everything was crimson and gold, and everyone seemed like they were in a slightly better mood. Sam and you had went down to the field about half an hour early to get a good seat and maybe sneak a peek at warm ups. The boys were out on the field stretching when your eyes were pulled to Logan, folded over at the waist. You were lost in admiring how nice his ass looked in those mesh shorts when Sam shook your arm and pointed at the boy next to Logan.

“God, Travis is so hot. Do you think he’ll be there tonight?”

“I would think so. I’m pretty sure they’re frat brothers.”

“I’m gonna fuck him tonight,” she stated simply, never taking her eyes off him. “and you’re gonna fuck Logan.”

“Whoa there, we are definitely not fucking. But you do you. I’ll be there cheering you on,” you grinned at her.

The team was heading towards the bench in pairs. A group of three girls got up from a few rows in front of you and leaned up against the railing and shouted for Logan’s attention. He looked up and them and gave them a crooked smile. They all wished him good luck in unison and blew him a kiss. You would be nauseated if you saw that happen to anyone, but it turned your stomach particularly hard to see it directed towards him. Why did it bother you so much? You couldn’t be jealous of someone you didn’t have feelings for. Logan waived at them and said thank you, from what you could tell as a less than expert lip reader. As they headed back to their seats, Logan looked up into the stands and locked eyes with you. His smile widened and he waived his hand vigorously over the top of his head. You giggled and gave him a small wave back. This caught Sam’s attention immediately.

“If you ever try to tell me he’s not into you, I will physically fight you.” She gave him an enthusiastic wave, which he returned and mouthed ‘roommate’ with a visible question mark at the end, to which you nodded.  He motioned behind him, conveying it was time to go and get serious about winning this game. You responded with a wave goodbye and a gesture you thought resembled a cheerleader saying “go team”. He visibly laughed and nodded his head in thanks before turning away.

“Ok, maybe I have a crush. But it’s only a little one,” you whispered to Sam.

The game was a lot closer than the home team would have liked. Our defense was lacking, but Logan was phenomenal. Not that you knew all that much about lacrosse, but he was scoring goals and his team seemed pleased with him. In the end, you took home the win, and the crowd rewarded them with an uproar of applause and cheering.

You and Sam had stopped home for a costume change before heading over to the Delta Chi house. You opted for a long sleeve black romper that you thought made your butt look good. Sam, on the other hand, went with a skin-tight body con dress, clearly not playing around about getting with Travis.

The walk seemed even shorter than before, maybe because your adrenaline was already pumping. You could hear the party before you could see it. There was already one shirtless man passed out on the lawn who would surely be accompanied by more by the end of the night. You opened the heavy door and amazingly enough, bass could in fact get louder than it was outside. You made you way down the hallway, when there he was, solo cup in hand, leaning casually against the wall. A girl in barely-there shorts was laughing and running her hand down his chest. He had a slight smile, but looked otherwise bored with her, which made you feel better in a sick way.  He looked over your way and that shit eating grin was on his face once again. He excused himself from his current conversation and made long strides to where you and Sam were standing.

“And here I thought you’d stood me up,” he said, wrapping his strong arms around you. He smelled like beer and that same natural spicy clean scent he had when he was fresh out of the shower. You were tempted to stay there and smell him a bit longer.

“This would have to be a date in order for me to stand you up, Logan.” He immediately shushed you, making it evident he was already a few glasses deep. “This is my roommate, Sam. Sam, Logan,” you mumbled, still being held firmly to his chest.

“Nice to meet you,” he said, releasing you only slightly to shake her hand. Sam’s eyes lit up.

“Nice to meet you too. Uh…do you know where Travis is by chance?” Her eyes scanned the crammed hallway.

“Last saw him by the kitchen,” he motioned off behind him to the right.

“Cool. Take care of my girl,” she said, patting his arm as she walked away.

You parted your lips to yell after her, but nothing came out. Here you were, Logan’s arm still around your back, and something about it made you feel safe. He looked like a model, his black button down unbuttoned just far enough down to be considered teasing. He looked you up and down, lingering just a little too long at your chest before staring deep into your eyes, his gaze was almost too strong.

“I really am glad you’re here,” he whispered as he played with the ends of your hair. You cast him a knowing look. “What! I really am. Been waiting all week to see you again. Can I get you a drink? Sorry, I started without you,” he teased.

“Sure. Beer, please,” you laughed.

“Wait here for me,” he pleaded, finally releasing you as he turned toward the kitchen. He reappeared only a moment later with a matching solo cup. You clinked glasses and drank, never breaking eye contact.

“I think we pulled out a win because you were there,” he said, hiding his face behind his beer.

“Jesus, that’s corny,” you huffed. “You won because you scored like every goal.”

“Wait, was that…did you just praise me?” He mocked, clearly amused.

“Don’t get used to it,” you smirked. He moved his hand to the side of your face, brushing your hair away from your eyes. He trailed his fingers down your jawline; his touch sent goosebumps shooting across every inch of your skin.

“Wanna dance?”

“Logan dances?” You said, raising an eyebrow. You looked to your left where there were bodies upon bodies of grinding coeds.

“Only with pretty girls. But yeah, I do.” He folded his arms, thinking pouting was going to work on you. “Just one dance, please?” You sighed, your resolve weakening, but your attitude never missing a beat. He smiled from ear to ear as he grabbed your hand and led you out to the dance floor.

Logan twirled you around in front of him, his strong hand wrapping around your waist and pulling you in close to his chest. You raised your hands and buried you fingers in his thick, dark hair. His lips parted slightly, perfectly shaped and raspberry stained. Your bodies moved as one, so in sync you had no perception of how time was moving. You got bolder and bolder with your movements, matching the eagerness you felt building in his hips. He moved his lips down so they danced against your ear.

“I need to kiss ya, Y/N. I have to.”

“Then fucking do it,” you whispered back. He looked you straight in the eye, taken back by your choice of words, and smirked. His long fingers darted up to the nape of your neck and tangled into the roots of your hair before fastening his lips to yours. Your stomach dropped, all the tension in your body leaving at once. It was hungrier than the first kiss you shared, his want for you evident in how forcefully he moved his lips against yours. He broke away for a moment, resting his forehead on yours.

“Fuck. If we don’t stop, I’m going to try and fuck you right here,” he breathed.

[illfigureitoutasigoalong]

my flea dream lol

My weird dream

I had a “flea” dream last night lol. Once my sister had a dream that she was a flea and killed mufasa?? And woke up and was terrified but like the content of the dream was not scary. I had one last night which right now is a little scary. OMG so it wasn’t a nightmare because it was scary, but it was intense and my heart was beating fast when I woke up. So it started out really weird and the direct result of me watching too many episodes of breaking polygamy. I was on a date with an FLDS looking woman in a restaurant that looked gross and I would never go there in real life. What’s weird is that I’ve had dreams in this restaurant before? Anyway I was wearing an amazing cute outfit with a blazer at this date and my weird amish looking date looked…. Amish. And the waiter took her order and then looked to me and goes “are you a man or a boy?” And I was immediately offended hahaha I was just like “what??” And the waiter was like “suit jackets are for men.” I immediately left the restaurant and there was no other sight of my weird date. I got in my car (which was my old gold Honda RIP) and who is inside??? MY EX GIRLFRIEND. That’s when this turned into a nightmare tbh. My least favorite version of her was her when we were in the car and she was driving. In my dream though we were not dating we were just friends after dating. But she was acting weird and possessive and stuff like we were still together. She drove us around being literally the most annoying version of herself. She spilled coffee, got us lost, was extra Vegan, and just generally very annoying. She like had this “I know I’m right attitude” that I used to hate or more like “I don’t care if I’m wrong” attitude. Terrible. As we were driving to my dream house I just got more and more miserable.

THEN the number one reason we broke up, she invited herself to a family party that was being thrown at my house. (Also weird thing about my house in this dream is that it was in the field that used to be there before they built a Walmart on winterpok rd. Also all the women in my family were lined up with red Pizza Hut uniforms and name tags and everyone had a fluffy twist out like they had blowdried their hair??? (Probably another side effect of me watching too much breaking polygamy lmao because they all wear their hair the same on there. I remember members of my family there but also members from the country church we used to go to like 15 years ago. Honestly who even knows why they were also there. I was immediately excited to see all of them and forgot to be annoyed at S. I remember singing “10-20-40” to them as I walked by. Literally so weird.)

SO. As we were driving S had stopped at Pizza Hut which was on the corner in the dream and my dream solution was to run home before she could find me, and get into my weird house before she saw me so that one of my family members would intercept her. It semi worked? I snuck into the basement locker room of my house to (take a shower I guess) and I hear her coming in the alternate entrance. (Random memory about this dream, she was dressed like jojo siwa. Which is odd but its also totally how she would have dressed in like, high school. Literally why did I date this woman) And I see her legs under like a weird stall door that leads to the basement locker room and we start having a screaming match about her even being in my house which is when I woke up with my heart beating fast. I’m trying to even remember what I said but I remember a few parts?

S: “I can’t believe you didn’t wait for me!” (I guess to come into my house? What’s weird about this argument is that I felt the same guilty sense of dread that I used to feel when I didn’t feel like hanging out with her. Cool. Love that for me)

Me: “I had a very not good day, which I know isn’t an excuse.” So eloquent of me. Brilliant grammar. I was referring to being called a man on my weird date, for some reason in my dream this really distressed me.

S: “That’s not an excuse!” (She had cut me off as I was saying the last part)

Me: “I JUST said it’s not an excuse and I’m fucking trying to apologize and you won’t let me!”

And that’s when I woke up. I wish I had stayed asleep longer because I was about to yell at her for 1. We aren’t dating anymore and she was no longer entitled to my time and 2. That she was always inviting herself into places that she just didn’t belong or didn’t fit. This would have gotten ugly so you know it’s probably for the best but still. lol.

So what do I do? I get up and read her reddit posts to make sure she’s still completely unrelateable and surprise surprise she is. So I am making it a vow to stop doing that because all it really does is just make me even more flabbergasted about why I even dated her for so long or even dated her at all. I know deep down that my reasoning was “eh, why not? I need girlfriend experience.” Instead of “wow I am actually interested in this person.” So yep. Never doing that again. And I know it’s terrible but I really want to date someone in my race next time. It’s just easier.

Also I have been thinking about downloading a dating app but I only want friends. I don’t feel like dating anyone right now and also I feel like in order to have a good time in a relationship I need to lose like 150 pounds. Anyway I typed this on my work laptop and I hope if someone reads this later they get a big kick out of it. Hahahah

Also! I text MB all day every day because I think we are both lonely. Yesterday on FT she said “I wish you were a man then we could date.” This really freaked me out. At first (like months ago) my brain was like “oh shit are we about to get a crush” but thank GOD I only feel friendship feelings for her. She’s just really young and very white and sometimes those things are glaringly obvious. It just freaked me out because it made me think like “oh should we be dating???” but the ultimate answer is no. not to mention a week or so ago we had a discussion where she thought i was always mad at her for being racist. But i have to call her out sometimes on the ignorant shit she says. Like ordinarily i would just let people get away with it but if we are gonna be as close of friends as we already are then you gotta know when you mess up. Sorry. But you do.

I was able to get a nintendo switch!! I am having a great time. I just wish my sister was able to get one too. I feel like I can’t be properly excited because she’s really bummed about not being able to get one. I am checking the site over and over again to see if I can get one for her. Also she’s bummed about her job role transitioning for the lend position. I would also be very upset but at the same time she should be just a little grateful for still having a job at this point. I would never say that though. And also i’m not in her shoes so I can’t really judge. I would be PISSED if I climbed my way up the ladder just to be stuck doing what I view as “non-degree work.”

This is terrible but finally the tables have turned in my favor? Hear me out ok. For years I’ve struggled with my health and my job. I was diagnosed with diabetes and high BP when I was 19. I graduated without a job, and worked 5 shitty and semi-shitty jobs for the past 5 years. Finally I have a job that I love (hopefully that lasts) that pays me decently, and I can afford my meds on my new insurance, I stay hydrated which makes me feel better and I’ve gotten really used to listening to my body. I also have accepted my health problems and I am really good at keeping a level head about things. Now though, all of the stuff I already went through and I am dealing with accordingly are happening to my sister and she is miserable. She had a shitty job change (it’s only temporary, but she is WALLOWING in it.) and was diagnosed with asthma. The inhaler gives her heart palpitations and she completely freaks out over them. I’m really not trying to be rude but at least you know they are a side effect and her heart isn’t just going crazy for no reason. But she has been in a terrible mood for weeks and every time she takes her inhaler she has like, an episode. First of all, my mom would have never let me get away with this behavior for so long because I’ve always been kind of sullen and panicky. But also I think sometimes my sister just really needs to grow up. Shitty things happen to everyone and you kind of just have to keep going forward.

AND speaking of growing up, we are trying to look at apartments in the same complex because I feel like honestly she will forget about me if we don’t live within walking distance of each other. I don’t know how much she gets paid but it can’t be much more than me. She’s looking at places with one bedroom that are like $1,500 a month.... like that’s the base rent price. She’s not even counting the security deposit and utilities. I tried to explain it to her and she’s like “I’m pretty sure all apartments cost this much around here.” I’m so sorry but no. They don’t. I’m not paying almost 2 grand a month to live where we do. That’s crazy to me. I found a place I like but she doesn’t seem to like it. I may just have to move there and just be sad for a while when she forgets to hang out with me.

Last thing I guess (since I should be working) I want to write a lesbian romance novel! I am in a bit of a book slump so why not write one of my own. Wouldn’t that be amazing if it could be published??? I have no idea how to write a book so honestly it’s a pipe dream but I was really good at writing fanfiction! It’s gotta be similar right?

[thatguysamaniac-blog]

In roughly a week a swathe of 30-40 somethings are going to relive and re-start a habit in a bid to re-misspend a misspent youth. There is a swell of hype in niche pockets of the Internet as people get more and more excited for the launch of World of Warcraft Classic. But why? Why is there the familiar toot-toot of the hype-train on the horizon for a product that is over a decade old, has a newer shinier iteration currently out and available to play, and a product that held marmite-like, positive and negative criticism when it was out. Just to clear things up I have bought my ticket (ed: and a train drivers hat, matching t-shirt, undies and socks and the special edition coke cans) and I am on the hype train! I am genuinely looking forward to Classic, but my goals and approach are going to be massively different to it, as will it be for much of the community. So I'm gonna play a little bit of devils advocate here... Upon launch many, many people will just be diving in for the pure nostalgia of the game, and very few of us will (ed: should) spend the amount of time and effort that we previously had done in the original WoW. Especially since because of our demographic, most of us are now grownups* with grownup commitments. Being an adult aside, and just comparing current WoW and Classic WoW, part of what I have seen about why Classic has such a following, it that current WoW (retail) sees a bit of backlash in regard to how it plays nowadays, it is considered "dumbed down", the game has streamlined, homogenised, and refined itself to large degree making interaction minimal, levelling, dungeoning and raiding are all infinitely more accessible, and faster. The game has become easier, where, in classic, you would have to learn an individual enemy boars moves so you know how to kill him before he killed you, now you kill several boars, and don't even have time to read what moves it did on you. Where you used to chat to your guildmates or just general chat and group together and adventure your way to a dungeon, it has now been replaced by a couple of button presses followed by a teleport to the dungeon entrance. In short the game has become more of an action fantasy RPG, than an MMORPG. This is in part Echoed by my friend and fellow WoW classic returnee Joldrath: That being said, as we are all grownups* with grown up commitments, is Retail actually just the game we need for our hectic lives?! Is it WoW for adults? The game is so refined that it now sectioned off up into bitesize chunks, rather than the infamous 16-hour junk food stuffing, poop-socking sessions. As with most things on the Internets nowadays, hype lives in a bubble, and a select few loud voices are the ones that get heard. Does Classic exist just for these voices? Does this only exist for private server people? Is it just for streamers? The private server community and the streamers go hand in hand and the tin foil hat theory is that Blizzard just wanna cash in on this... Private servers have been running for years, and streamers sit on their ad revenue, when Blizz ain't even getting a subscription. Will Classic just be a way to regulate private servers will it be World of Warcraft: public private server edition. Probably. The thing is the WoW from 2004 did not have the influencer/content-creator machine to work with, but it did have a lot more eccentricities, character builds and fun to be had in that fashion, that in all honestly it is going to be a great place for content creation! 15 minute bites of "Look at this build kill this thing" or "10 Paladins take down Ragnaros".  But is that the reason the folks diving into nostalgia want to play it again? Probably not. For me, part of the nostalgia was that this game was emerging, new builds were coming out, people discussed strategies and new patches brought all sorts of shenanigans with them. WoW was a sandbox playground allowing for meta-gaming of all kinds and involving everyone in the community. With WoW Classic we are getting the final patch of WoW, we are getting  "phases" where content is opening up but nothing more, and I think that may be a drop off point for a lot of people, "what's next" is very much a thing in WoW hence the plethora of patches, content and expansions that's essentially kept WoW going and with a few other games created the Games as a Service Hellscape we now live in. What we are getting is a little slice of life, a snapshot of WoW as it existed for maybe a few months (?) and a few things will cycle around it. Yeah, don't worry,  I hear myself "Finally, WoW Classic, what's next?", but that is definitely a thing, and I'm sure it's not just me, I wonder what the hook will be to keep people on if there is nothing around the corner... or is there? One hot topic is, what will happen after the phases? simply a reset and start the phases again? there is debate that based on it's success will Blizz just dive into The Burning Crusade and so on... Or it is also speculated that there could be some horizontal development continuing development but keeping the lvl 60 WoW classic experience, Could we see Death knights join us at lvl 60 or could we see Paladins on the horde side? Maybe some pandas could join the fight? Could we see tweaking to see viable Ret-lol DPS?!?? There was also a suggestion that WoW Classic could potentially enter seasonal play, akin to that of Diablo 3 with buffs and effects and such at lvl 60, changing up gameplay. Personally I would love to lift a couple of the non-gameplay elements from modern WoW, Specifically the overhaul to the character models to make them prettier, and hand-in-hand, I heart my transmogging and would love to allow collecting those looks at lvl 60 be made viable (without the masses and stacks of bank room being used up by mats you need to just go to a dungeon in Classic). In any case I do hope there are plans post final phase, given the world we live in for the effort/time we have made with our lvl 60 this time round, it would be nice to have new challenges and change-ups to actually look forward to. So do we need WoW Classic? Based on my grumpy contrarian ramblings above: all we are getting is a non-updated game intended for private server veterans and content creators that due to its time sink qualities will mostly be inaccessible to the commitment-laden nostalgia crowd that actually want to wallow about there! What is the pull to bring people back and, and then stay back? I am fully a part of the mid-life-crisis-got-commitments-nostalgia crowd, I got shit I need to do! I actually spend my evenings with loved ones rather than skulking in "my mom's basement". I cook food rather than picking away at luke-warm kebab on a Molten Core run etc etc. So why should I look forward to a game known to be a time-sink when I can a similar dopamine hit from Retail or even just any other game. Jesus fucking hell, Richie Who's a Debbie Downer! Ha, well unfortunately much of the above is true and quite honestly when this was announced, I immediately thought and realised this was going to be hyped behind a lot of rose-tinted glasses and to echo my parting statement from this post after the announcement, I was always going to play it, just to dip my toe-in at the very least. WoW was arduous, it was not an easy game. And I had to ask myself a few hard questions like: Why do I want to play that grind again? Can I find the time to play again? Do I even want a faithful recreation of that game from 15 years ago? What do I want from another WoW experience!? And Boom! that was the question that re-ignited my passion to play! Personally I love the Paladin class, I played my Blood Elf Paladin at from the first expansion onwards, but in WoW I (badly) played a Mage. I think what I want from WoW Classic is... Drum roll... ...wait for it... ... "Redemption" ... ... ... geddit? Cuz redemption is the name of a paladin spell?... ...Fine whatever, geez... I want to experience the original paladin or play WoW Paladin: Classic Flavour. I wanna do the Paladin Horsey quests (at least the alliance version), I want to do the multitude of Paladin-ish quests in the game, the Scarlet Monasteries and the Scarlet Crusade through Hearthglen, and on to getting Exhalted with the Argent Dawn. And so I realised that I have almost set myself a Goal, a path to go through the game with My goal will simply be lvl 60 hitting the iconic Paladin quests along the way. As much as I have had a grumble about what WoW classic is and if we need it, but it cannot be denied that when WoW came out it was so impactful on everything (media, games, etc), and perhaps this resurgence of Classic can rekindle some of what sparked that zeitgeist. Wow is old, and that cant be denied, just have a look at her face, her non existent nose, and the world is the same, jagged polygonal models, scenery with seams etc etc. However most of the time it can be very beautiful, Each zone has a different flavour, musical theme, and atmosphere, and its hard to any parallels that rival this even today. And it's Huge, yes you can argue that today its huger, with all of the additional zones being added in, but in all actuality because of the addition of flying mounts the world is just so much smaller. Recently I had a chat with Thatguyer, Doppelganger, discussing about how that leap from 16-bit to 3D was so impressive and awe-inspiring, but nowadays you can almost feel like you are just playing an N64/PS1 game, just with smoother graphics. What is the next leap in games? Where do we go from here? logically it should have been VR/AR, but is too much of an ask for the consumer, despite it being forced into our eyesockets. I would argue that mainstream MMO machine of WoW was a leap at that time, moving to online play but at the same time generating community spirit was a massive turning point for games. The traction it gained led the way for the online console experiences and ultimately the community based games we see dominating the Twitch-osphere. Is there more that revisiting this monolith can change/teach the new generation of people who think playing computer games is a job? As the hype-train has been getting ever closer to its destination, I have had to change my news-getting methods, where I used to haunt/feature on WoW Insider, it is now a shadow of it's former self. I have been looking to Podcasts, Reddit and even joined Discord. In particular I wanna give a shout out to countdowntoclassic.com and a big shout out to the shows host Josh on @count2classic who has kept the hype train running with interviews with Class leaders, the original designers and generally great WoW Classic content! It has been a bit part of what is making me excited about Classic! Anyways right, I guess see you in Azeroth? Love and Seal, Judge, Rave, Repeat. Richie X *Grownups absolutely use the word grownups, we're definitely not three cats in a trench coat, fake nose, glasses and a hat. No sir.

http://www.thatguys.co.uk/2019/08/wow-classic-do-we-need-this.html